Warning: The following story might rot your brain.
President Barack Obama strides confidently in a bullet proof vest toward a defiant Charlie Kirk. Vice President Kamala Harris and President Joe Biden flank the former president.
Read more Cesar Chavez Day is out. Farmworkers Day is in
“Hey Charlie,” he says.
Kirk, who is standing with his wife, Erika Kirk, and Diddy, looks at Obama.
“You’re under arrest,” Obama says.
“Arrest? I don’t feel like I’m under arrest,” Kirk says smugly. The Turning Point USA founder turns to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu who is seated casually at his side. “How about you, Yahu?”
“Nah. Not a bit. Not even a little bit,” Netanyahu says. Jeffrey Epstein, seated behind him, smirks at his response.
“You turn around and put your hands behind your back,” Obama replies calmly, ignoring Netanyahu.
“I don’t think so,” Kirk says, walking forward.
“Your mistake is thinking you’ve got a goddamn choice, boy,” Obama yells. Biden, suddenly nimble, cocks his rifle and Harris her handgun.
Kirk and Obama face off. The right-wing activist towers over the former president.
“And your mistake: thinking you’re in America,” replies Kirk, staring down at Obama’s face just inches away. “You’re a long way from home.”
“This is Tel Aviv!” Kirk yells. He raises his arms, an homage to the movie “300.”
Brainrottaversary
I’m sitting in my office at Phoenix New Times rotting my brain. Literally. I’m watching videos like the one described above and as a colleague noted, I’m losing more and more brain cells each time I hit play.
AI slop. Brain rot. It’s imagery that’s familiar. Kirk and Obama face off Vin Diesel and Jason Statham style. Their seconds-in-command stand behind them at the ready, a crowd of faceless AI-generated onlookers circled around to watch the showdown. The music too. Not quite a Ennio Morricone spaghetti Western soundtrack but my brain sure wants it to be. Throw in Netanyahu and it’s today’s politics in a nutshell but make it “Kirk and the Kurious.” Feeling confused? Don’t worry. Me too.
It’s been one year since an assassin’s bullet killed Kirk, 31, in the middle of a “Prove Me Wrong” debate. He was shot in the neck in front of a stunned crowd of thousands on Utah Valley University’s campus at 12:23 in the afternoon. But since his violent death, he has had a second life online as the main character in bizarre videos where he, for example, travels the world like James Bond getting into madcap adventures. His showdown with a gun-toting Obama is just one installment of a cultish brand of brain rot where the murdered conservative activist is the star. A year after his death, I’m immersing myself in whatever you want to call these creations.
Kirk was debating gun violence at the moment law enforcement authorities say Tyler Robinson fired the fatal shot. Eleven days later the most important names in the conservative movement gathered at State Farm Stadium in Glendale to memorialize the slain conservative activist. In his three decades on earth he built an influential political empire through Turning Point USA, which is headquartered here in Phoenix.
The name of the event was “Building a Legacy Remembering Charlie Kirk.” Not only were boldfaced names from the government in attendance — President Donald J. Trump, Vice President JD Vance and Stephen Miller, the White House Deputy Chief of Staff and architect of the administration’s immigration deportation policy — so were media celebrities like Tucker Carlson and Elon Musk. While they took to the stage, I sweated on the sidewalk outside talking to depressed and exhausted mourners who traveled long distances then waited hours in winding lines only to get turned away.
Read more New study reveals where to spend your Golden Years in Arizona
In the world of politics, the country is still figuring out what Kirk’s legacy will be in death. In some ways his influence over the MAGA movement grew after he was murdered. His name is still invoked by Trump and his underlings, and Turning Point USA has raised more money for this election cycle than they ever have before.
But culturally, in the absurdist world of memes, shitposts, and serialized AI cartoons Kirk never died. He lives on in a parallel universe in a corner of the internet that is obsessed with a dead man. To say the videos are absurd is an understatement. They make you want to meet the artiste who wrote the prompt out of gross fascination while simultaneously worrying about the future of humanity. They are political and a-political, iconoclastic and venerative, fantastical and realistic — all at the same time. Like of course Obama and his sidekicks had a hybrid drag-race-western-stand off with Kirk and Epstein (rest in peace). I can see it. Can’t you?
It is unclear what — if any — political significance the videos have. At times they seem created to use humor to deflate the whole American experiment of its pomposity — which tends to be at its zenith during election season. Maybe its creators do have some as of yet unrevealed political dog in the fight. Maybe they are doing it for the lolz. Maybe they just want to see the world burn.
Whatever the creators intentions, Kirk is living a second life in these weird mixes of videos, memes and posts.
In one he is literally given a second chance at life. It’s an ode to our country. Oh “America-The Beautiful”. Kirk is on the stage at Utah Valley University answering his final combative question. It’s the video everyone has seen before. Then a rifle cocks and a shot rings out. He stares shocked. But this time Epstein catches the bullet. He holds it out like a trophy. The assassination fails. He is saved. It’s rave-dance-party-time complete with a conga line. Because “We are Charlie Kirk!”
Another chronicles a romance between Kirk and Daddy Pigeon, a humanoid pigeon. It’s a whirlwind love story complete with love affairs and long lost children, one of which is a mini pigeon-child with a disturbing whispery voice. I gag on my white chicken chili as I watch Daddy Pigeon and Kirk’s meet-cute. Daddy Pigeon and his soon-to-be ex-lover Diddy are taking massive diarrhea craps together, coating the bathroom in their waste. Kirk joins in, detonating himself and the world in a nuclear mushroom shaped poo explosion.
I reached out to Ausar and Cantina, two of the companies whose logos and handles are smattered all over the slop to see how they feel about their role in the proliferation of these videos.
Cantina did not respond, but a representative from Ausar wrote back saying that AI video is a part of internet culture. It is useful for comedy and other creative “stuff.” The company is a creative tool and sometimes post templates online with public figures.
“If Charlie Kirk appeared in one of those, it was just a meme format, not us making a political statement,” the representative wrote.
Turning Point USA did not return a request for comment.
Charlie Kirk. He’s dead yet here he is. He sits on his bed, a fresh-faced college student. He uses she/her pronouns and takes care of baby Epstein as he grows up and goes to college (where Bill Clinton is his roommate). He cosplays as an Avenger city boy and gets insulted by Epstein, predator billionaire. “A hero? Like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Charlie. Everything special about you came out of a meme.”
How does Erika feel about these videos, of which she stars in too, dancing next to her dead husband while he sings in autotune. His name is synonymous with social media conflict and now his face is the throughline of videos with the purpose of serving nothing and no one.
We don’t know where or precisely when Kirk was buried. We know his body was at Hansen Mortuaries in Sunnyslope. We know he was honored with a trip aboard Air Force One. But the final details have been shrouded in secrecy. The family has protected the secret to prevent his final resting place from being vandalized by his political opponents. But, here, online, where Kirk is the plaything of brain rotters and giggling man children, his memory is a punchline.
Read more Wall Street destroying the American Dream in Phoenix, study says
I hope his kids never see them.