{"id":228,"date":"2026-06-15T20:04:06","date_gmt":"2026-06-15T20:04:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/phoenixrelocationnews.com\/?p=228"},"modified":"2026-06-15T20:04:06","modified_gmt":"2026-06-15T20:04:06","slug":"joe-arpaios-94th-birthday-party-was-rife-with-scuzzy-has-beens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/phoenixrelocationnews.com\/?p=228","title":{"rendered":"Joe Arpaio\u2019s 94th birthday party was rife with scuzzy has-beens"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Looking frail and scarecrow-thin, his voice whispery and hoarse at times, former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio sat onstage in a gold lam\u00e9 empire-style chair. And he remained there for most of Friday evening at the Fountain Hills Community Center as several hundred fellow alter kockers and rogues of all stripes ate a free meal of pasta with meatballs and celebrated Arpaio\u2019s 94th birthday.<\/p>\n

Read more What is a haboob? What you should know about Arizona\u2019s dust storms<\/a><\/p>\n

Highlights of the evening included an Elvis impersonator, who serenaded the crowd with muffled versions of \u201cThe Impossible Dream,\u201d \u201cSee See Rider\u201d and \u201cBurning Love,\u201d among other ditties covered by the King of Rock n\u2019 Roll. There was also an appearance by wizened mob enforcer and serial killer Sammy \u201cThe Bull\u201d Gravano, who gifted Arpaio a bronze bull statuette and made the sheriff an honorary member of the mafia. Disgraced former politicos \u2014 including former Rep. Trent Franks and former state legislator David Stringer, both with troubling sex allegations hanging over their heads \u2014 were also on hand to pay their respects.<\/p>\n

Arpaio, who stood to accept Gravano\u2019s gift, praised the erstwhile mob boss for turning state\u2019s evidence back in the day to help convict his mentor in crime, John Gotti. Gravano took time to explain to the crowd that the 19 murders credited to him were \u201cthe same thing to me as being in the military, same thing as being a cop.\u201d He got a round of applause when he announced that, despite the hits, he was now a Christian and knew that Jesus had forgiven him for his homicidal transgressions.<\/p>\n

Seated at the same table as Phoenix New Times and former Republican gubernatorial candidate Christine Jones, Gravano kvetched about a recent New Times piece concerning a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by a former employee of his production company, who claims Gravano forced his tongue down her throat without her consent and made jokes about his penis. Gravano denied the allegations, but declined to comment on the dirty details of the complaint.<\/p>\n

Arpaio also took to his feet to croak out a version of Frank Sinatra\u2019s \u201cMy Way\u201d in a duet with an unknown woman who, unlike Arpaio, could actually carry a tune. Arpaio also accepted a letter of birthday congrats from President Donald Trump, who pardoned Arpaio in 2017 for a criminal contempt-of-court conviction in the ongoing Melendres civil rights lawsuit, which has cost Maricopa County taxpayers more than $250 million at last count.<\/p>\n

Read by Arpaio\u2019s aide-de-camp Kevin Decuyper, a local wackjob known for his white nationalist pronouncements, the letter praised Arpaio for his \u201ctoughness and no nonsense\u201d stance on \u201claw and order\u201d and said it was \u201cfitting\u201d that both Arpaio\u2019s birthday and Trump\u2019s birthday fell on Flag Day, June 14. Arpaio thanked the non-present president, noting that Trump had kissed him two years ago at a Turning Point Action rally in Phoenix. He joked that he hadn\u2019t had a kiss since then.<\/p>\n

\n

Kavanaugh the Comedian<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Interestingly, the hottest act of the evening was not Gravano or Elvis, but state Sen. John Kavanaugh, on a break from a marathon legislative session, which didn\u2019t end till much later that evening. Kavanaugh did his best Don Rickles impersonation, reprising his role from a 2014 roast of Arpaio while the latter was at the height of his power and notably fleshier.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Working sans snare drum, Kavanaugh, who never met a microphone he didn\u2019t like, recycled a few jokes at Arpaio\u2019s expense from 2014, like one that drew major heat from mavens of \u201cpolitical correctness,\u201d as it was called at the time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to redo the entire roast and get myself crucified again,\u201d Kavanaugh cracked. \u201cBut I did one about Joe where I said it was at a dinner. And I said, \u2018Well, a Muslim waiter came up to Joe and said I can\u2019t serve you because I don\u2019t serve swine.\u2019 Clearly a joke against Sheriff Joe, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Some Muslim-Americans didn\u2019t dig it after it was reported, just as some Mexican-Americans disliked Kavanaugh\u2019s one-liners about Mexican restaurant staff possibly spitting in Arpaio\u2019s food. Though who could blame them for providing some extra seasoning, given that the sheriff\u2019s office under Arpaio was found guilty in 2013 of widespread racial profiling and placed under the watch of a court-appointed monitor, whose oversight continues to this day.<\/p>\n

\n

Kavanaugh lamented that those bygone times were the \u201cglory days of SB 1070,\u201d the anti-immigrant legislation he helped pass that sparked massive protest rallies and a boycott of the state before much of it was gutted by the federal court. Kavanagh got off some other zingers at Arpaio\u2019s expense, observing that Arpaio had the free event catered by an Italian restaurant.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cThe truth is, Joe wanted originally to charge people to attend this event, but people said, \u2018We\u2019ll only pay to go to his funeral,\u201d Kavanaugh wagged.<\/p>\n

Read more You asked: Is anything ever going to happen with vacant Chase Tower?<\/a><\/p>\n

Another good one, about being known simply as \u201cSheriff Joe\u201d:<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know you\u2019ve reached the height of fame, where you are recognized by just your title and first name,\u201d Kavanaugh said. \u201cChairman Mao, Col. Gaddafi and, perhaps most relevant to Sheriff Joe, Captain Kangaroo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Granted, some of those are last names, but it\u2019s still funny, as was Kavanaugh\u2019s jibe about the 81-year-old Gravano being Arpaio\u2019s \u201cone that got away.\u201d \u201cI think you can catch him tonight if you put on your orthopedic shoes and Sammy takes his off,\u201d Kavanagh said.<\/p>\n

Ba-dum-pa.<\/p>\n

\n

David Stringer and Satan<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The evening flagged as Fountain Hills Mayor Gerry Friedel sat across from Arpaio for an impromptu Q&A, with Arpaio sometimes rambling incoherently about how his home overlooked Fountain Hills\u2019 namesake fountain and the fact that the sheriff\u2019s department is contracted to do law enforcement for the city. At least, that\u2019s what New Times could glean of the conversation as the crowd grew restless and began talking amongst themselves. Earlier in the evening, Friedel read a proclamation naming June 14 \u201cSheriff Joe Arpaio Day\u201d in Fountain Hills.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Friedel and Kavanaugh were the only current officeholders New Times spotted at the bash. But there were a number of tarnished \u201cunelecteds\u201d present, like Trent \u201cYou\u2019re Havin\u2019 My Baby\u201d Franks. A former Arizona congressman, Franks resigned in 2017 after it was reported that he had approached female staffers asking them to be surrogate moms for him and his wife, reputedly offering one woman $5 million for the gig. Franks, of course, claimed the allegations were all false.<\/p>\n

Also in the house was former Arizona state Rep. David Stringer, who resigned from office after a New Times investigation revealed that Stringer had been charged in the 1980s with multiple sex crimes in Maryland, including possession of child pornography. However, Stringer, an attorney known for making racist remarks, later beat a complaint to the State Bar of Arizona related to his past sex crime cases. And he has twice run unsuccessfully for Yavapai County Attorney in the GOP primary there.<\/p>\n

Sitting up front near the stage was Anthony Kern, the former state senator infamous for being present at the Jan. 6 U.S. Capitol insurrection. Kern is also one of the 11 so-called \u201cfake electors\u201d whom Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes is still attempting to prosecute for their role in an alleged plot to overturn the 2020 presidential election, despite setbacks in court. Kern also gained notoriety in 2024 when he led a prayer group speaking in tongues on the Arizona Senate floor.<\/p>\n

As the event broke up, Arpaio successfully dismounted the stage without incident, where he told New Times that he was glad he hadn\u2019t fallen during the evening \u2014 though at one point, it looked like he might. Arpaio introduced his son Rocco and daughter Sherry Boas, a former reporter for the Arizona Republic, whose husband, Phil Boas, once edited the paper\u2019s opinion page, which remains on life support following widespread layoffs.\u00a0<\/p>\n

New Times remarked that Arpaio\u2019s daughter and his late wife Ava seemed to be nice people, wondering how that happened despite the former sheriff\u2019s reputation for being a hard-ass. Boas joked that she \u201cgot mom\u2019s genes.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

New Times then couldn\u2019t help but ask Arpaio what he planned to say to Satan when he saw him, given that he\u2019s likely closer to meeting El Diablo than most. Arpaio didn\u2019t understand the question until Satan\u2019s name was spelled out for him. \u201cYou know the guy with the horns,\u201d New Times told him, close to his ear.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cI don\u2019t get involved with that,\u201d Arpaio said, an apparent non sequitur unless he was referring to devil worship. He pointed up to heaven, noting that\u2019s where his wife, who passed in 2021, was now residing. New Times could not help but agree, given that the sins of the husband usually are not visited upon his spouse.<\/p>\n

New Times bid the sheriff goodbye, telling him that we\u2019d see him at 95 \u2026 well, maybe.<\/p>\n

Read more Arizona faces 77% cut in Colorado River water amid stalled talks<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ex-Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s party had mobster Sammy Gravano, disgraced ex-Rep. 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